Does the Tasteful Tan Really Exist? Introducing a Stealth New Generation of Self-Tanners and Body Bronzers

This is not the most fashionable of admissions, but I really love a suntan. This being 2015, though, that sounds about as out of date as a rousing endorsement for wheat gluten. But despite the recent zeal for a gleaming porcelain complexion, the cooler months leave those of us with less ivory than olive tones looking, well, slightly undercooked. And really, a golden glow is practically a requirement for Valentino’s and Vuitton’s lacy white dresses, which is not even to mention the season’s vogue for picnic-perfect gingham. My previous experiments with self-tanner—streaky ankles, stained palms, orange tinge—occurred sometime early in the millennium (before we even knew about the tanning mitt; imagine!). But, apparently, self-tanner has changed. And with it, so has the tan. The new tan, it seems, is an un-tan: a subtle, just barely sun-kissed luminosity—less lying out on the French Riviera, more cruising along the Dalmatian Coast.

Inspired by the gray skies and pale skins of her native Ireland, Alyson Hogg created the line Vita Liberata with the promise of a long-lasting, authentic, and—here’s a key development—utterly odorless tan. I apply a thin layer of her Self Tanning Night Moisture Mask before bed twice a week and wake up with a habit-forming, gradually growing glow. But it’s the line’s Trystal Minerals powder bronzer—which possesses a crystal form of DHA miraculously activated by your own foundation or facial moisturizer—that is her most ingenious creation. Dusted on like a regular bronzer, it results in natural-looking contouring—the kind you’d get from ten days in Tulum—that remains for about a week. “It’s subtle, it’s sophisticated, and it looks like you,” says Hogg. It takes seconds to apply and garners office-wide compliments that I attribute to a recent jaunt through Palm Springs.

When it comes to that little fib—and I was in Palm Springs, if under a sun hat (and an umbrella)—well, I’m in good company. Where self-tanners once shouted their presence, now they whisper. “No one should ever say, ‘You look tanned.’ They should say, ‘You look really well; you look really good,’ ” says U.K.-based tanning pioneer James Read, whose Express Bronzing Mousse is beloved by It Brits like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley and Ellie Goulding, not least for its glam Studio 54–esque packaging. Read advises smoothing on the product in thin layers for best possible fade, employing mini paint rollers from a hardware store to apply tanner to your seat, and attaching a tanning mitt to a wooden spoon with a hair elastic to reach your back. (You don’t get your own Harvey Nichols tanning salon without coming up with some shortcuts.) Practice makes perfect, and mistakes, he says, are easily righted: “If the tan is too dark, go have a steam for ten to fifteen minutes and rub it off with a towel.” Bronze Buffer Self-Tan Remover sponges also do the trick.

In addition to discreet color—no one wants to have to explain how she went from zero to George Hamilton in the middle of the workweek—a notable innovation is results that last. L’Oréal Paris’ Sublime Bronze serum, applied once a day for three days, promises to last up to a full two weeks—much like that ill-begotten real tan might. Jergens’ new Tan Extender is powered by fade-fighting technology that preserves the effects of its Natural Glow moisturizers or any other tanning product.

St. Tropez’s Gradual Tan In Shower Lotion goes on like a body wash, eliminating the mess—and the stress—altogether. I rinse, I pat dry, and I am glowingly, healthily, and, if I do say so myself, tastefully tanned. Later, at a dinner party to which I’ve worn an ivory crepe Wes Gordon column, a friend asks where I’ve snuck off to for my “obvious” recent travels. Victory!

 

Here, Vogue.com’s expanded guide to the season’s foolproof formulas.

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