Home for the Holidays With Amy Sedaris: Why a Family Spa Day Is the Secret to a Conflict-Free Christmas

The holidays are filled with family time—your family, your significant other’s family, sometimes the family you make for yourself (hello, friends). Practically every holiday movie ever made recognizes the fact that this prolonged proximity can prove trying (cue questions about marriage, children, and requests for heavy lifting—not to mention the unearthing of a few long-buried hatchets). No matter your stress level, Amy Sedaris has the holiday solution for you: Give your family the gift of beauty. “I decided to make a day called Beauty and the Beach,” says Sedaris, who twice annually turns the living room of her family’s shared North Carolina seaside house into a full-blown spa, with the help of her 12-year-old niece, for an afternoon of blissfully quiet pampering. As the family skincare expert (“I’ve been obsessed with putting lotion head to toe every single day since I was 12”) explains, “I don’t really do anything when I go home—I don’t cook, so it’s my thing to contribute—and they all love it.”

Beauty and the Beach is not short in the way of indulgences—think: scenting the room with lavender essential oil mist; offering spa water with lemon, cucumber, and mint; and creating a spa menu that ranges from facials and foot soaks to “military cuts” and skin tag removal. “There are things that I know people won’t sign up for, but I like to offer new services every year,” says Sedaris. Aside from being a thoughtful avenue to treat as many as 10 housemates, Sedaris adds that it’s also just a funny way to keep busy, keep quiet, and make everyone do something she likes: “We play spa music that my little brother gets from Pandora—no words, it’s relaxing. You can hear water trickling over rocks. I like hearing people complain—[it] makes me laugh. Sometimes I’ll say, ‘Your tone of voice doesn’t go with the music.’” But more often than not, family members fall asleep while Sedaris’s sister-in-law gives foot massages and Sedaris provides a full-service facial.

The facial itself is a serious undertaking. Once she has a sibling, in-law, or family member’s significant other lying down in the chair, she starts by spraying Mario Badescu rose water on his or her skin “for whatever,” and exfoliates with a La Roche-Posay Toleriane cleanser on a Clarisonic (“I bring a fresh clean head for everyone”). Then she places or throws—depending on her mood—a hot towel over his or her face, before applying Aesop’s clarifying Primrose Facial Cleansing Masque. That’s followed by a mist of Epicuren Protein Mist Enzyme Toner and Skyn Iceland eye gels. Moisture is delivered two ways—through the Organic Pharmacy’s Rose Hip Oil, followed by Tatcha lotion, or whatever is half-empty in her New York City apartment and could stand to be cleared out. Hands are massaged with Jurlique Rose cream. Lips get a dab of Aquaphor, applied with a Q-tip.

As heavy hitting as the products are, Sedaris keeps the day light. “I constantly have to remind my sister-in-law, ‘Kathy, you’re talking about yourself again—you’re a service person, you’re not supposed to talk about yourself.’ It’s abusive,” she says with a laugh. “And then I just talk to them about their skin; it’s all bullshitting,” she adds of distilling advice like “Drink more water—it’s the solution to everything.” Or, “Take fish oil to moisturize from within.”

“Personally, I would never lay down and close my eyes in front of anyone in my family. I am shocked they let me do it,” Sedaris admits. But just a few hours later, everyone emerges a little more relaxed, a little better moisturized. “It makes everyone feel better, and I like having a job, and I like making tips. I split them with my niece and don’t give any to my sister-in law.”

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